29 Males Reveal the Precise Second They Felt Able to Say “I Love You”

Spoiler alert: There’s no secret, surefire approach to know when somebody’s in love with you. (Until they tell you, obvs.) Identical to there’s no blood check you’ll be able to take to substantiate whether or not or not you’re in love (can be handy although!) there’s no official means of diagnosing your companion’s emotions for you.

Positive, there could also be some signs you’ll be able to learn into, however figuring out once you’re in love actually is a kind of issues that’s fully singular to every particular person individual—partly as a result of all of us outline it in numerous methods. Hello, that’s why philosophers have been attempting to determine what precisely love is for, uh, ever. And even when we may all agree on what love actually is, when to truly say “I love you,” is a unique factor totally.

For some, saying “I really like you” would possibly suggest a sure degree of commitment they will not be prepared for, even when they really feel all of the feels. In the meantime, others (*cough* Pisces) will casually drop the L-bomb with zero expectations simply because it feels proper within the second (hello, it’s me). The purpose is, totally different individuals—even two individuals in a relationship—can have very totally different concepts about what love truly is and what saying it actually means.

Simply so we’re on the identical web page although, for those who’re feeling such as you’re in love, it’s in all probability love, and it’s completely okay to share your feelings earlier than you understand in case your companion loves you again. Personally, I’m an enormous believer in the concept that life is brief, love is uncommon, and you must by no means depart something unsaid. (Mainly “Reside, Snort, Love,” however for chaotic individuals.)

However in case you’re nonetheless seeking to sniff out some indicators which will assist you determine if the man in your life is a Licensed Lover Boy, we went forward and requested a couple of dudes to share how they know after they’re able to drop these Three Little Phrases.

Listed here are the instances after they knew they have been in love love:

1. “I simply form of blurted it out after we’d been relationship for a couple of months. I didn’t actually plan it and it felt slightly awkward on the time, however we’re married now so I suppose I used to be proper?” —Mike, 34
2. “It’s the butterflies. When you’ve gotten them and also you have a look at your S.O. they usually have this quiet smile, that’s when you understand.” —Jason*, 36
3. “Truthfully, I used to be being form of a dick. I’m used to individuals responding to that in a sure means, however this lady accepted me in that second. She was like, ‘I perceive why you’re feeling this fashion.’ And in that second, I used to be similar to, ‘Fuck. That’s unimaginable. I’m being a dick proper now, and she’s actually going to just accept that that’s a part of me? I feel I really like her.’” —Philip, 27
4. “I do know it’s time to say ‘I really like you’ after I really feel comfy kissing her in public and we are able to have intercourse with out using Molly, Adderall, or tequila.” —Slade*, 35
5. “It’s simple. After I cum inside of somebody, my physique normally goes in considered one of two instructions: repulsion or embrace. After I simply wish to keep on high of them and proceed taking part in, kissing, and so forth., that’s how I do know I’ve developed stronger emotions.” —Jamie, 27
6. “The primary time I knew I actually liked her was when I spotted each single imaginative and prescient I had of my future had her in it, and all the pieces I wished in my life concerned her being by my facet.” —Joe, 25
7. “After I took curiosity within the issues she cared about. Cannot say I’ve ever wished to observe The Bachelorette, however right here we’re.” —Chris A., 24
8. “I lately had a demise in my household, and the grieving course of was exhausting. I knew how a lot I cared about her when she was the one one who I wished round me throughout that point.” —Aoki V. 26
9. “Each time I have been in love, I simply knew it was love. There was no ‘aha’ second, I suppose it is simply one thing like when you understand, you understand.” —Te A., 42
10. “I’ll be tremendous cliché right here, however it actually did simply hit me randomly one night time after we have been watching Netflix. I am undecided what occurred, however it was like, in that second,I knew that I might be okay doing something—actually something—with that lady by my facet. And be fully glad doing it.” —Jaron T., 29
11. “I feel it was most evident to me after we have been in an argument or struggle and I may nonetheless have a look at her and assume: ‘Yeah, okay, I do love her.’ Should you can nonetheless have those self same emotions even when issues aren’t going one of the best, that is love. However when you do not really feel that means when issues get powerful, it will not be love.” —Eric R., 26
12. “I knew I used to be able to say ‘I really like you’ when saying ‘I such as you’ simply wasn’t chopping it in my coronary heart. I felt like I may inform her something about me or what was on my thoughts and I would not be judged. I particularly knew after I cared for her and her emotions as a lot as I did my very own.” —Mason M., 27
13. “I am undecided for those who ever know if you find yourself prepared. The primary time you say it, it simply occurs. Afterward, you would possibly remorse simply letting it slip such as you did, however inside, you understand you confirmed precisely the way you felt, and that is factor.” —Aleksei C., 24
14. “My ex-girlfriend and I have been finest pals. The intercourse was nice, we helped one another develop as individuals, and we have been an amazing group collectively. As soon as I spotted that no one was gonna get me like she did, loving her was the simplest factor on the earth, which is after I knew it was the fitting time to say it.” —Josef G., 27
15. “When sufficient time goes by, and regardless of how irritated she will make me, I nonetheless can not help however smile.” —Equipment O., 29
16. “Truthfully, there is no approach to know until you understand. More often than not you’re simply guessing. I’ve mentioned it as soon as earlier than, and I meant it from high to backside. You are normally scared to say it, however when you understand it actually means one thing, you go forward and say it anyway.” —Christian S., 25
17. “I really feel like ‘I really like you’ is overused, so it takes a while for me to say it even when I do have these emotions towards them. If I have been going to offer it a particular size of time, I might say sometimes 4 to 5 months, until she says it first.” —Alex Z., 28
18. “I don’t know if I’ve any form of rule; I’ve been in year-long relationships the place I by no means mentioned it. I’ve mentioned it a month in, three months in. It’s simply after I’m feeling it. Normally after I nonetheless have butterflies after I see her, and we’re each beginning to discuss assembly one another’s mother and father. That’s normally after I can inform that is getting critical.” — Tom, 27
    
19. “I don’t say it earlier than a month, regardless of how a lot I like them. I really feel prefer it scares them off.” — Luke, 28
    
20. “I mentioned it after every week to the girl I wound up marrying. Wanting again on previous relationships, I used to be in all probability all the time fast to say ‘I really like you,’ however I used to be loopy about my spouse from the second I met her.”— Ian, 26
21. “I by no means say it. Ever. I take it very significantly, and it’s not one thing I wish to simply say to anybody. I don’t throw that phrase round. I wish to imply it after I inform my future spouse I really like her. I don’t assume many individuals I do know understand I take it this significantly, however I do. I don’t wish to cheapen the phrase.” — Russell, 29
    
22. “Most likely on common… and that is me doing my finest to common it out simply considering again… however round six months or so? To be fully trustworthy, that’s simply after I really feel obligated to say it.”— Anthony, 28
    
23. “I feel I do know if that is going to be a long-term relationship inside a month or two, which is normally after I’m learn to say, ‘I really like you.’ However I wait till second. I don’t similar to, fireplace off a Snap the second it dawns on me. I would like it to be romantic.” — Cody, 26
    
24. “I’ve mentioned ‘I really like you’ to 2 of my girlfriends and I married considered one of them. In each circumstances, it was in all probability nearer to the one yr mark, however undoubtedly earlier than our one yr anniversary.” — Jay, 29
    
25. “I’ve an issue. I fall in love with like, everyone. There was multiple event the place I used to be drunk and my pals needed to take my cellphone away as a result of I used to be about to inform a lady I connected with like, as soon as that I liked her.” — Ethan, 25
26. “It’s humorous. I’ve mentioned it to somebody after a couple of weeks, and that relationship wound up being a prepare wreck. The girl I’m with now, she and I took it very sluggish. It was months and months earlier than we mentioned it. And issues have been going so nice. And that’s to not say falling in love quick is dangerous, simply that falling in love slowly is completely positive.” — Joey, 26
    
27. “It was truly a little bit of a… some extent of rivalry with my present girlfriend. She mentioned pretty early on. She in all probability mentioned ‘I really like you’ at round three months. And it wasn’t that I didn’t care about her deeply on the time, however… I simply didn’t really feel comfy saying it. It took me awhile to get there. But it surely got here up, and I felt pressured. I didn’t like the concept of claiming it as a result of she wished me to. I finally did say it, however on my phrases.” — Brett, 28
    
28. “I feel six months is form of the epicenter of claiming, ‘I really like you.’ That’s a really cheap time to say it. And I feel the additional away you get from six months in both route, like both too early or too late, it begins to get slightly odd.” — Steven, 27
    
29. “I wish to say normally between like, five-nine months. I’ve had possibly eight critical relationships the place saying ‘I really like you’ was even on the desk. And that window for me undoubtedly wasn’t a precise science. Generally I felt like I used to be there extra rapidly than different instances.” — Dennis, 29

*Title has been modified.

Frank Kobola
Frank is a contributing author for Cosmopolitan.com
Kayla Kibbe
Kayla Kibbe (she/her) is the Affiliate Intercourse and Relationships Editor at Cosmopolitan, the place she covers all issues intercourse, love, relationship, and relationships.